Back to the usual.

Last week was horrific. I was a complete mess. I barely functioned. Thankfully, I picked back up slightly on Saturday and therapy resumed today so things have gotten back to normal.

The clinical psychologist wanted to see me for five minutes about what happened last time I was there (read about it at this link if you don't already know) and asked if her or my therapist could've done anything differently but they couldn't have.

EMDR isn't an option for the time being which is understandable. I told the clinical psychologist I wanted to keep that option open along with all others and she agreed to. In fact, she was extremely happy about it.

Afterwards, I saw my therapist and we discussed it further before moving on to discussing what the past two weeks were like (last week especially). She told me that I have a certain maturity that a lot of people my age don't have because of everything I've had to go through and am still dealing with.

We also discussed me comparing myself to other people and ended up having a really interesting discussion about social networking, the media and their influences on our lives. However, because it started towards the end of our session, we're going to continue it next week.

On a different note, I received a text from one of my best friends afterwards telling me he was okay. I had texted him on Thursday asking when he was returning to England and received no reply. I started worrying so I texted him again last night and asked him to text me so I knew he was okay. It turns out that he had replied to my first text but it didn't get through.

I’m so relieved.

Weekend musings.

A former friend texted me yesterday afternoon to tell me that her now ex boyfriend left her and pulled the personal issues card.

Let me give you a highly condensed version of the back story so it makes more sense.

This former friend (I'll call her Angela to protect her identity) met her boyfriend (I'll call him Steve) last year and got with him in November.

He's taking part in a lot of shady things and didn't let her meet any of his friends. I wasn't the only one concern. Several of her friends expressed concern about this and had others but as you can probably guess, she didn't listen.

In September, I stayed with her for the night and she ended up having an hour long argument with her mother about her relationship with Steve during which I went outside to have a few cigarettes. I still heard the argument, though.

I was unable to sleep that night and ended up calling my mum at 6am and broke down crying once she answered. My dad kindly collected me a few hours later and I went to sleep almost as soon as I got home.

When I woke up, I saw a text from Angela blaming me for the argument with her mother and causing problems in her relationship. I replied telling her that unless she changed her attitude, I never wanted to hear from her again. Since then, I've received several abusive text messages from her.

I don't buy the personal issues excuse. He had his fun with her and got bored. That's what it is. However, because of how badly she treated me, I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. I can't forgive her for treating me so badly.

Yesterday evening, one of my best friends posted to my Facebook timeline saying she wants to see me before Christmas. A lot of my friends want to see me yet I still feel unwanted. Why? I don't know.

All that aside, at least there are a few good things coming up. The third (and sadly, final) series of Borgen starts airing here on Saturday, I have no therapy tomorrow which gives me a whole week off any appointments of any kind and I'm probably going to Costa this week to sample their Christmas menu. I should be pleased but I'm shattered. Completely and utterly shattered.

I'd love to not feel anything.

Katatonia, Lacuna Coil and Paradise Lost @ Roundhouse 3rd November 2013.

WARNING: This post is going to be very picture heavy, and will contain a fair amount of fangirling.

It's also mainly about Lacuna Coil.

I woke up at 8am to begin getting ready to meet a friend of mine and queue early. I left the house at 10:30am to make my way to Camden so I could get some Chinese food from one of the food markets for breakfast before meeting my friend.

I ended up running into said friend in Camden who had a bottle of Disranno & coke with her and after she got her food, we headed off to the Roundhouse and arrived at approximately 11:45am.

Not long after we arrived, Cristina, Andrea and CriZ of Lacuna Coil walked past. The few of us that were already there ran up to them and they were more than happy to stop for photos despite being on their way to  get breakfast.

The first thing Cristina commented on was my hat as she has the same one. I ended up getting four photos with her and a lot of hugs. I got slightly carried away but she didn't mind at all.

The best part? She remembered me! My adoration and respect for her grows every time I meet her.

Cristina and I.

Cristina and I.

Cristina and I.

Cristina and I.

Andrea told me that they're aiming to release their new album in March and plan to do a headlining UK tour next year. I'm already hoping for a Birmingham and/or Oxford date along with the obiligatory London one.

Andrea and I.

CriZ and I.

Maus of Lacuna Coil walked past a couple of hours later. I had been trying to get a picture with him for over three years but never could for one reason or another. That changed, though, and I got three photos with him.

Maus and I.

Maus and I.

Not too long after, another friend arrived with the alcohol he promised me. Needless to say, I ended up rather drunk.

Just before 5pm, Maki walked past and was more than happy to stop for a few minutes to pose for photos.

Something I adore about Lacuna Coil is how kind they are to their fans. They don't have to be. They could easily ignore them but they stop whenever they can to talk, sign items and/or pose for photos.

Maki and I.

At around 5:30pm, we were let inside the venue and I went to the merchandise table to get the Lacuna Coil top I wanted. I ended up wanting the hoodie as well but didn't have enough money. It'll probably be available online in a matter of weeks, though.

The top. It's far nicer in real life.

I ended up in the second row towards the right of the stage. Not the best view but it could've been a lot worse.

I found Katatonia extremely boring. They were playing the entirety of Viva Emptiness in reverse which I like but I found their set to drag and wanted it to be over.

Lacuna Coil, on the other hand, were fantastic. It was my eighth time seeing them live and they didn't disappoint. Every performance I've seen of theirs has been magical in different ways. I've never not felt an extreme high after seeing them live.

Setlist:

I Don't Believe In Tomorrow

Kill The Light

Fragments of Faith

Heaven's A Lie

The Game

Our Truth

Upsidedown

Without Fear

Swamped

Intoxicated

Trip The Darkness

Spellbound

Paradise Lost were much better than I expected them to be. I don't listen to them often so I wasn't too sure what to expect but I was pleasantly surprised. Lacuna Coil were the band of the night for me, though.

I left barely being able to walk and with an aching body for the next two days but I didn't mind. Getting home wasn't too fun, though.

I had hesitated to get a ticket given that Lacuna Coil were only playing a support set but I'm so happy I got one in the end. I met some awesome people and out of the three bands, the only one I didn't enjoy was Katatonia.

I can't wait for Lacuna Coil's new album to be released and headlining UK tour next year.

Week in photographs.

I'm still recovering from the sensory overload on Monday which has meant having to cancel all of my plans for this week so I've spent a lot of it in front of the sofa watching television. To top it all off, I might be getting a cold again.

Anyway...

I ordered my ticket for Within Temptation's London show earlier this year and it arrived on Wednesday. As soon as I received it, I knew exactly what it was. I may or may not have squealed from excitement. Roll on 12th April!

I'm planning on going to their show in Birmingham four days after the London one and hope to be able to get a ticket before they sell out. I wanted to when the tour was announced but it was the day before the London one so it would've been too difficult for me to do but thanks to the tour being rescheduled, it's now four days after.

The tickets are unlikely to sell out anytime soon but I want to be able to get one as soon as possible. I don't plan to sort out accommodation or travel for a few months so I'm not going to worry about either yet.

My mum and dad had been searching for Terrorizer magazine for me for several days. I rarely ever buy magazines these days but I had to have it as it featured Cristina Scabbia of Lacuna Coil.  It's ridiculously difficult to find. It's not a mainstream magazine so that's probably why. They finally managed to find it in our local WHSmiths on Wednesday but it was hidden away.

They also returned with Noriko soap and The Christmas Penguin bubble bar from Lush. The Christmas Penguin is supposed to smell like The Olive Branch shower gel which I hate but it doesn't it to me at all.

Noriko is lovely. If you like creamy soaps and delicate floral scents, chances are you'll love Noriko.

On Wednesday evening, I found out that December's issue of Glamour magazine comes with a free bottle of Nails Inc nail polish worth £11. You can get it in Soho Silver (metallic silver), Uptown Glamour (metallic gold), New York Apple (glossy red) or New York Noir (glossy black). Being a nail polish junkie, I couldn't pass it up.

My dad returned with not one but two copies with New York Noir and Soho Silver. I haven't tried either of them yet but I can't wait to.

I hope you've all had a good week!

Q & A with Michelle Dockery and Allen Leech at the Apple Store in Regent Street 28th October 2013.

Sorry it's taken me over a week to write this. I've been busy with other things.

While I was on Facebook a couple of weeks ago, I saw that the official Downton Abbey page posted that Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary Crawley) and Allen Leech (Tom Branson) would be doing a Q & A session at the Apple Store in Regent Street. I immediately reserved my place and found out on Monday morning that there were no places left. This made me pleased I reserved my place after I found out about it.

I arrived just over an hour before it was due to start and like the Q & A with Joanne Froggatt and Ed Speelers a couple of weeks before, all the seats were taken. Thankfully, I had a brilliant view again so I can't complain.

The atmosphere was very different to the interview with Joanne Froggat and Ed Speelers but not in a bad way in the slightest. It's hard to describe, though. Both Q & A's were brilliant in their own way so I really can't compare them any further.

The whole Q & A was hilarious. One thing that sticks out in my mind in particular is Michelle doing a Maggie Smith impression. Otherwise, I can't select a favourite moment.

I had planned to ask Allen and Michelle if they could spend the day with any character excluding their own, who would it be and why? I managed to but not before embarrassing myself by telling Michelle how beautiful she was and wanted to know how she did it. Luckily, she was really nice about it so it could've been far worse.

They were both stumped when I asked them. Allen chose Carson to see what he gets up to when he isn't being grumpy whereas Michelle chose Thomas. I can't remember why she did, though.

Unfortunately, I was exhausted so I didn't stay to meet them and I'm kicking myself for that. Oh well. There'll probably be another chance in the future.

Sensory overload.

I'm working on a post about autism but I want to write about sensory overload now as I suffered from it during therapy yesterday afternoon and want to write about it while it's still fresh in my mind.

 Therapy started off well but I was a bit out of it. I didn't think too much of it and put it down to being tired from the Katatonia, Lacuna Coil and Paradise Lost show on Sunday and carried on as normal.

Towards the end of the session, it got too difficult for me. I couldn't take in any information whatsoever (sensory input) anymore. I ran out, locked myself in the toilet and broke down crying. My therapist attempted to check up on me but I told her to go away. She got one of her colleagues to no avail. I didn't want to hear anything. Their voices were like chalk on a chalkboard. I simply couldn't handle it.

I was so exhausted I fell asleep for a couple of hours when I got home. I woke up with a slightly clearer mind and decided not to go next week. I phoned my therapist to tell her I won't be there and she completely understood. She's cancelled our appointment next week and therapy will resume the week after.

This isn't something I wish on anyone. It's absolutely terrifying when it happens.

If you want to get an idea of what it's like, read about it at this link and watch the video.

Week in photographs.

On my way to the Apple Store in Regent Street on Monday for the Downton Abbey Q & A with Michelle Dockery and Allen Leech, I had my first Costa hot chocolate of the year which obviously required a photo of me doing so. I was bored, though.

Last week, I found out that Michelle Dockery and Allen Leech were going to be at the Apple Store in Regent Street for a Downton Abbey Q & A so I reserved my place and went. I'm currently writing about it, though, so apart from the fact it was brilliant, I won't say too much about it.

I had two appointments yesterday so I rewarded myself with a red velvet cupcake and pot of Earl Grey tea from Lola's Cupcakes. I love it there but because their cakes are expensive, I don't go there too often. I might go again soon, though.

While I was there, I got a text from a friend of mine asking me if I wanted to go to Garlic & Shots with him. I hadn't been there or seen him for a while and had no plans so I said yes. However, I didn't see his text until an hour after he sent it so I had to rush home, quickly get changed and leave the house.

It was completely worth it, though. We had the Halloween three course meal set menu which consisted of pumpkin soup with bloodshot (not actual blood, don't worry!) fried bacon, vampire steak with graniated potatoes and ice cream with chocolate truffles.

The pumpkin soup was amazing. I'm really fussy when it comes to soup so this is high praise from me. Unfortunately, my friend and I didn't like the vampire steak much. It was too stringy. The graniated potatoes were lovely, though. I think the pumpkin soup may have set my expectations too high.

Thankfully, the ice cream and chocolate truffles were lovely. Overall, was a wonderful meal! Apart from the steak, I have no complaints about it.

Naturally, we did several shots. It IS called Garlic & Shots, after all. We tried to stick to six shots each (sensible by our standards) but couldn't resist ordering another four and then got an eleventh shot free.

Afterwards, we headed off to Ed's Diner for dark rum & chocolate alcoshakes and ended our night there.

Best Halloween ever? Without a doubt.

I hope you've all had a good week and Halloween!